Walked best part of day ten miles from Poole to Bournemouth without shoes on my feet before finally arriving at hitch hiking point of dual carriage way junction coincidentally named Cooper Dean roundabout. Dusk had turned to dark so I slept out side a nearby village hall and in the early morning attempted to gain a ride. One man in a coup stopped and only offered a ride to Southampton, another guy with small car filled up with empty drinks cans offered a ride to next junction north but I refused to get in his car.
After sometime waiting in vain for another ride to come I thought it best to try hitch from another junction, I began to walk northwards along dual carriageway keeping to the verge to avoid any traffic. The road was very busy with cars which didn’t seem to be bothered or held up by my presence walking the verge. As I neared the next northward junction (Blackwater junction) just over the river three blue light flashing police cars had pulled up.
Police got out of their cars, said they’d had reports of Moi and needed to get me off the dual carriage way, I didn’t want to get in their cars having made most of my journey on foot the next junction was in sight (about two hundred yards away). They persistently insisted I got into the car and rather than see a pile up traffic accident I reluctantly got into car.
Policeman drove me to Blackwater junction. They attempted to interrogate Moi for a short time and I told them I just wanted to continue hitching as I needed to finish my journey. There was a pivotal question as to public reports that I had been seen walking in the road or seen by the road, allegation came through the police radio that Id been walking in the road leading the police man to arrest moi with section 136 of the mental health act.
I refuse point blank to go with him and tried to walk away, he grabbed my arm, pulled out his CS gas placing its canister nozzle inches away from my face whilst shouting at me to get in the van. I was thrown into an awaiting cramped white cage concealed inside this police van and the door slammed shut. The police said they where going to Bournemouth police station leading me to inquire why a police station had been chosen as a place of safety instead of a hospital to do a 136 assessment.
I stated that I wasn’t in anyway intoxicated or was violent to them but got no response. Bournemouth police station was like a spaceship, it had been built only two years before so was fairly new. The custody Sargent was a rational and polite kind of chap who proceeded to ask series of questions. I told him I wasn’t walking in the road stating that a section 136 wasn’t justified. I also said I didn’t need to be in a police station, that there had been no criminal offence committed and I wasn’t intoxicated. Anxiety started to build up bordering a panic attack, observing this the Sargent agreed with the section 136 arrest but also stated a police station wasn’t an appropriate place so instructed the two arresting officers to take me to hospital.
Bournemouth hospital was friendly but felt awkward being kept in rear observance of a unhinged public presence in reception alongside police officers for so long. Eventually moi and police was ushered by a nurse into a room which was to be used as a temporary 136 suite, here this nurse gave me some lunch which consisted of a cheese and tomato sandwich, cup of tea and strangely over bloated orange which I refused eat. After leaving then returning the nurse said to police that I was to be transferred to St Anns mental hospital in Poole returning me back to where I had spent entire of yesterday painfully hobbling ten miles with no shoes.
St Anns hospital is largely a building site which rests between modern unit and ageing hundred year old hospital building. The unit felt closed in which is accentuated through tight narrow corridors segregated by many locked magnetic key fobbed doors. Pea green rectangular windows in this red brick unit were tiny and metallic grated air conditioning long defunct but rooms weren’t small in perspective. I stayed in the 136 suite for about six hours unit a team could be put together to assess my state of mental health.
The assessment seem balanced and whilst in consultation I became aware of how badly swollen my feet actually were. My toes had curled up due to hideous swelling on soles of my feet which were spiked with shards of glass and thorns. Dissociation is getting dangerous in retrospective to my rational state of well being / health which I guess is largely due to excessive trauma frequented suffering.
The 136 team asked me to come into hospital, given that I could barely walk on my feet and had lost so much weight I agreed. However as a worry I was concerned (after Highgate) about gender recognition considering St Anns hospital was still placing patients in dormitory accommodation but was assured Id have a single room in a mixed ward.
Merley ward (AAU) is busy with many patients coming and going. Nurses here were overall friendly. The south African ward psychiatrist seemed to think I was suffering from negative symptoms of schizophrenia which I strongly refuted. He made numerous suggestions of using anti-psychotic medicine but couldn’t force the issue as I was there as an informal patient.
I stayed on Merley ward for just over a week before being transferred to Dudsbury female ward. Dudsbury ward was located inside left wing of the old hospital building. This ward was spacious with huge filthy windows, rooms where clean, large with high ceilings; a stark spacious contrast to the busy confinement of Merley ward.
On the eve of the harvest moon I had my consultation with the Dudsbury ward Indian psychiatrist. She wasn’t very friendly, during consultation she became quickly upset, lost track of chronology and blatantly accused me of causing the delusion of hundred of thousands of Hindu people. She said my energy was a delusion of grandeur and that she agreed with the south African psychiatrist that I was a schizophrenic and would be medicating moi with anti-psychotic medication. Disgusted I got up and left the room with nothing to say. Whilst outside I announced I was going to discharge myself from the hospital and started to quickly gather my belongings. With my bag packed I progressed down the ward corridor until stopped by a nurse and ward doctor who escorted me into a room and said they where sectioning me with section 5/2 of the mental health act (up to 72 hours detention).
In the evening during supper I was approached by a nurse and offered oral anti-psychotic medication whilst eating at the dinner table which completely put me off my dinner. I refused stating that I didn’t have to and instructed nurse not to bother me again with it. The next couple of days grew more awkward, felt like a prisoner in there.
The next psychiatric consultation placed a section 2 (up to 28 days detention) on me which was to include forced medication of a powerful anti-psychotic medication called Risperidone. Just before six o’clock something told me to try the hospital ward door which on pulling opened leaving me walking quickly to escape. I got to the hospital main door before being grabbed by nurses, dragged back to the ward then my room where a gaggle of eight or so hospital nurses where waiting to restrain then force medicate me with a test dose injection of Risperidone.
I resisted them without lashing out for about five minutes till they got me pinned face flat to the bedroom floor. They injected me in my left hip then held me down for a further five minutes telling me I was too hot and to calm down. After about half an hour of slowly backing off the surplus ward nurses eventually left. The injection took about 3 hours to enter my system with some horrible side effects.
My anxiety heightened, head felt like it was clamped into a vice, heart was palpitating and my eyes felt like they was dragging to one side, over the next few hours the ball / knuckle joints in my hands swelled and started to throb with pain, light became brighter and during the next day the change in sunlight felt as though it was burning my skin.
Earlier in the day an hour after being section 2d I applied for a tribunal hearing to dismiss this unjust section and misdiagnosed accusation of mental illness.
After spending eight days on Dudsbury ward without being allowed outside on escorted leave I was left feeling very claustrophobic. Id shout a lot and more than once threw objects at ward walls. This disturbed some older patients and together with me refusing to talk to the nasty Indian ward psychiatrist it was decided best to transfer moi back to Merley (AAU) ward.
The tribunal was a week after and fell on a Friday. I was due to receive a larger forced medicated depo of Risperidone in the morning just an hour before the tribunal but luckily got this postponed on request. The tribunal went well, seated tribunal psychiatrist said he found no symptoms of psychosis and Indian ward psychiatrists lengthy statement was full of inaccuracies leaving the tribunal panel to allow my request for discharge from St Anns hospital. My mental health lawyer said it was a rare thing to happen, I smiled at her and thought that smile of yours is even rarer darling. After an hour I had something to eat, packed my things and left the ward / hospital.